i jhust puked up my retainher.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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