He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
