She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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