Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
