everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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