ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
