I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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