Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
