it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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