South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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