love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
