Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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