Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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