Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
