Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Randomize
