He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
