i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
