if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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