if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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