Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
being pregnant is like rehab
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
