I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Umm I'm too high to move.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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