all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
