Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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