The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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