You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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