If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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