Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
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She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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