Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
