i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
we're making bets on your personal life
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
