seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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