I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
It was confusing and full of hummus
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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