then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
What a dumb baby whore.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
