I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
