Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
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