Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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