carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
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