Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
