no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
