Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize