Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize