I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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