Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize