you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
