I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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