Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
