I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
