you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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