Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
