I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
