It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
