It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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