I got chris browned last night
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
