I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
