shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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