Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
