CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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