I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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