so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I love you. Go after that dick
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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