3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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