How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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