They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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