apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
