sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Randomize
