You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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