didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
